ipods are stupid anyway

iPods are stupid anyway

It's finished! I'm sure that Steve will surely be nothing short of

delighted when he discovers that the design was inspired by a jumper

that I saw Mark E. Smith wearing.

I don't have an iPod. I have neurolinguistically programmed myself

into not wanting one, by saying things like 'I'll never use it' and

'They're only for idiots' and 'They give you cancer'. Truth be told,

if I hadn't quit my job I would totally have one by now, broadcasting

away on my own pirate radio station.

Instead I have chosen to live vicariously through the iPods of the

people by giving them this - the opportunity to be just like Steve,

with an iPod jumper of their very own. Don't forget to throw your

guitar on the floor and storm out of band practice occasionally, or

the effect may be lost.

Here's what you'll need:

Double knitting yarn oddments in dark green and lime

3.25mm needles

4mm double pointed needles

a fancy button

Gauge - 15 rows/11st = 4cm in stocking stitch.

* Cast on 24 stitches in lime green.

* Knit 10 rows in K2P2 rib.

* Change to dark green - knit 6 rows stocking stitch ending purl

row.

* Begin pattern. (X = lime green).

* Knit 23 rows straight stocking stitch in dark green ending purl

row.

* Work pattern again in reverse.

* Knit 6 rows stocking stitch in dark green.

* Change to lime green, purl one row. Work 9 rows P2K2 rib. Cast off

in rib. Weave in ends.

* To make fastening, cast on 3st on double pointed needles. Knit

10cm of i-cord.

* Seam up sides with mattress stitch. Attach i-cord to back side of