salt shakers as visual aids bad yet

Salt Shakers as Visual Aids, Bad, Yet Appropriate iPod Songs That Come Up on

the Random Setting, and the Longest Title Since That Fionna Apple Record

Don't you hate when some jag-bag is telling you a story, usually about

a car accident, and he goes into a long description with visual aids

to give you a better mental picture of the events? He's always all

like, "So, this salt shaker is me, right? And this sugar and sweetener

container is the other guy's car. And . . ." I'm always a patient,

polite listener, but I really want to say, "Just stop right there, you

uninteresting slob. Your story will not magically become interesting

when I've achieved the PERFECT visual of the intersection due to your

God damn diorama presentation."

In a completely unrelated matter, on my bike ride home from work today

I heard Semicharmed Kind of Life by Third Eye Blind, and while that

song is horribly nerdy, it made me really happy today. Even though I

was sure no one could tell what song I was listening to, I got a

little embarrassed that I was listening to it, and what's worse,

enjoying it so much. I will say though, it's the perfect

make-you-happy-whilst-you-bike-by-the-lake song, because in the video

all the guys in the band were merrily riding in some sort of gay-ass,

moped procession. So, given the situation, the song was perfect to

listen to, while I would not be caught dead listening to it on any

other occasion I can think of.

This is even more the case with another song I heard on today's bike

ride: Riding the Storm Out by REO Speedwagon. There was a massive

storm hitting the Chicago area, so I was trying to bike home fast

before I got caught in the thick of it. As it turns out, the only real